Stationery Etiquette!

Over the years I have had many brides ask me specific questions about Wedding Stationary Etiquette. So today is all about etiquette, keep in mind some of the information below, is how I do things here at The 2u Collection and Paper Couture Stationery, some of these "rules" have been modified to what I've found works best over the years, so in researching etiquette rules you may find different rules. What I've found over the years, is it is mostly personal preference how you handle some of these things. And I could write on etiquette for pages and pages, so with that in mind I just tried to create a brief overview of the main items and the questions I get asked the most.


With the current days of online invitations, eblasts, wedding websites, etc. it is easy to understand why there would be so many questions. Well instead of having to thumb through Emily Post’s Etiquette, I would like to help clear up some of the do’s and don’t’s of the world of wedding invitations.

WEDDING INVITATIONS

The main goal of the wedding invitation is to let your guests know the who, what, when, and where of the event. It will also serve to express the formality and tone of the event through the complexity, color, fonts, and design of the invitation. Once the invitation has successfully accomplished the 4 W’s the last step is to ensure that they are addressed and delivered with the proper courtesy! Keep in mind the Save the Date or Invitation is the first introduction your guests have to your spectacular event. It's a window into the Tone and Design of the event, and a great opportunity to start a BUZZ about your wedding. So, it's always best to WOW them, so they are excited and looking forward to the unveiling to come.

When to send the invitation:

Typically 2 months before your wedding date. The standard is 6 weeks before, but depending on travel, location of wedding and whether or not Save the Dates were sent is what will determine just how many weeks before your event you send your invitations.

What are the proper Formal Social Titles?

Mr. - Formal Male Title

Ms. - Formal Female Title, for divorcée or over 40 single woman

Mrs. - Formal Title for Married Females

Miss - Formal Title for Unmarried Females under 40 years old

How to address your invitations:

Couples-

Standard - Mr. And Mrs. John Smith

One has a Professional Title - Doctor Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith

Both have a Professional Title - Doctor Jane Smith and Doctor John Smith or The Drs. John and Jane Smith

Unmarried Couples - Miss Jane Smith

                             Mr. John Adams

Single Guests- 

Unmarried Female - Miss Jane Smith or Ms. Jane Smith

Divorced Female - Ms. Jane Jones

Widowed Female - Mrs. Jane Smith or Mrs. John Smith

Children - 

Under 16 - Only list parents name on the outer envelope and list the children's name on the inner envelope. For example: Jason and Brittany.

Over 16 - Get their own invitation! Addressed: Miss Brittany Smith or Mr. Jason Smith

When to use an Inner and Outer Envelope?:

Typically, we usually only use an outer mailing envelope, but if you are having a very formal or traditional event, then you will want to have both an inner and outer envelope, it gives an heir of sophistication and implies formality.

How to word the invitation depending on who is paying for the wedding:

Example when Brides Parents are paying:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of 

their daughter Jennifer Michelle to Mr. James Joseph Clark on Saturday, the sixth of 

November Two Thousand Eleven at two o’clock in the afternoon at Little Chapel 

Winter Park, Florida.

Example when Groom’s Parents are paying:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Clark request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Miss Jennifer Michelle Smith to their son Mr. James Joseph Smith

When both are paying:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of 

their daughter Jennifer Michelle to Mr. James Clark son of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Clark

When the Bride and Groom are paying:

The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Miss Jennifer Michelle Smith and Mr. James Joseph Clark

OR

Miss Jennifer Michelle and Mr. James Joseph Clark together with their parents request the honor of your presence

Do you need a wedding website?

 It isn't' 100% necessary, However the majority of brides choose to have one these days. It is beneficial for several reasons, and you can get them free at most wedding websites these days (weddingwire.com, theknot.com, marthastewartweddings.com, etc) And if you are splurging on Custom Invitations, a website can be created that matches the design and feel of your invitations.

How to use your Wedding Website:

Now a days couples are using a website (otherwise called a wedsite) tailored specifically to their wedding to help spread the word about issues that are not considered polite to express on the actual invitation, such as posting where you are registered, addressing a “No Children” policy, when giving complicated or detailed directions, informing your guests of hotel special room rates, and providing links to area activities for out of towners. 

SAVE THE DATES

The Save the Date is used to informally invite your wedding guests in further advance than the invitation, to help prevent them from planning events on your wedding date. They are good for anyone inviting friends/family that will need to travel  to the wedding so that travel arrangements can be made. The Save the Date is also a great place to inform your guests of your wedding website!

When to send your Save the Dates:

Typically 4 to 6 months before your wedding date. If planning a destination wedding they can be sent up to 12 months before your wedding date!

I hope this blog helps, any of you with questions, if you have a specific question I haven't addressed you can always email me at amy@2ucollection.com. And keep in mind, don't get caught up in following everything to a T, as time moves forwards and traditions and standards change, these rules can be flexible and it's really about your personal preference.